Okay, so I’m going through the movies in a slow-mo marathon of one every couple of weeks in the runup to Episode IX, and tonight I watched Attack of the Clones.
I always go into it worrying that somehow, I’ll finally see what the naysayers see and the film will let me down. But nope, every time it’s miles above I and III, and above most of ROTJ (though of course it can’t touch “I am a Jedi, like my father before me”).
Not only are the colors and landscapes and music just gorgeous from an aesthetic point of view, and not only does the movie deliver the thematic heart of the entire prequel trilogy, but it's rip-roaring fun from beginning to end, with only a few hiccups along the way.
I have a vivid recollection of being in the theater on opening night and seeing Obi-Wan jump through that window without a second's hesitation and deciding right then and there that, unlike The Phantom Menace, this was damn well a Star Wars movie.
So here's a list of some of the things I love about Star Wars Episode II.
The big silver flying wing approaching Coruscant from the bottom up, rolling over to re-orient itself, gliding across the clouds and then down and through their misty obscurity. Absolutely beautiful, with terrific, moody music accompanying it.
Mace Windu patronizingly telling Senator Amidala that Count Dooku couldn't possibly be behind the assassination attempt on her because Dooku used to be a Jedi, so it simply wasn't in his character. The Jedi are meant to be putzes in the prequel trilogy, which a bafflingly large number of fans manage to overlook or deliberately ignore, and Windu's mansplaining here really hammers the point home.
Virtually every line Ian McDiarmid speaks.
Small echoes of Jake Lloyd in Hayden Christensen's performance as Anakin. One might argue that they're simply both failing as actors in the same stilted way, while speaking lines that Lucas wrote in the same stilted way, but the fact is, if you listen closely, their dialogue and delivery is extremely consistent. The way Anakin interrupts Padme on Naboo when she says he's just a Padawan learner harkens right back to his "I'm a person, and my name is Anakin," line when she calls him a slave in Episode I.
Jar Jar's dramatically reduced yet much more important role. He is still annoying, but he's there for a clear purpose, which we finally see when he plays the patsy by making the motion to give Palpatine emergency powers.
Anakin's rebellious insistence that "Investigation is implied in our mandate," and the awkward discomfort his argument with Obi-Wan engenders in everyone else in the room. The fact is, he's right. But Obi-Wan is being too by-the-book and too I'm-your-teacher to see or admit it.
The speeder chase. Sure, parts of it are cheesy, but it's a sustained sequence of the Jedi being absolutely amazing, doing the things they're good at, full of great kinetics, wild sound effects, and multiple holy-crap-did-he-really-just-do-that? moments.
Obi-Wan's gentle chastisement of Anakin when he catches up to him outside the club. He truly feels like a patient mentor here.
Anakin's shift from "Who hired you? Tell us," to "Tell us NOW," and the look of hopeful respect Obi-Wan gives him in between the two lines.
Jango Fett.
The scene of Padme packing, where she very reasonably defends Obi-Wan's actions as a mentor in response to Anakin's teen surliness. A lot of people find Anakin too immature and creepy in this scene, but that's pretty much the whole point. And Padme deals with his immaturity perfectly ... up until his gaze unsettles her.
Yoda bemoaning the fact that even some of the older, more experienced Jedi have become too sure of themselves. He's going down the hall with Obi-Wan and Mace Windu, who nod knowingly at his wisdom -- and all three of them fail to realize that they're the ones he's really talking about. The irony is absolutely savage.
Dexter Jettster, the four-armed diner owner. He's so amiable and Obi-Wan is so clearly delighted by him as a friend. It's also clear that he has more than a touch of unsavoriness in his backstory, and that presages Ben's ability to negotiate the scum and villainy of the cantina in Episode IV.
"Aggresive negotiations."
Anakin's dislike of sand, which tons of people seem to think is dumb because it comes out of nowhere and is basically a dude saying, "I don't like that" in response to his crush's description of something she enjoyed. But his clumsiness at romance is totally believable given his upbringing, and the sand line is a clear call-back to his childhood and his formative identity as someone who fixed things in an environment that was constantly breaking them.
"I'd be much too frightened to tease a senator." The whole scene where Anakin and Padme debate the merits of the Republic's version of democracy just exudes the influence Palpatine's guidance has had on Anakin and foreshadows Anakin's eventual role in the dictatorship of the Empire. Yet he segues into genuine charm and humor when the object of his affection becomes concerned at the things he's saying, and deflects her worries like a true pupil of the manipulative Chancellor.
Obi-Wan inspecting the troops on Kamino. Despite a lot of weirdness and awkwardness in his dialogue with the Kaminoans, this moment is a chilling harbinger of the stormtrooper legions we know it will eventually give rise to.
The verbal duel between Obi and Jango in the Fetts' quarters. I find the feigned politeness and tension between these two endlessly entertaining, and the dialogue here is really good.
Hayden's performance during the fireplace scene on Naboo, and to a lesser extent, Natalie Portman's as well. There's a lot of truly cringe-worthy dialogue here, but Hayden delivers it like a trooper, and for the most part, Natalie does too. If the writing had been just a little bit sharper (well, maybe a lot sharper), this would have been an amazing scene.
The actual duel between Obi and Jango on the landing pad. Exciting, great music, great use of weather as both a visual backdrop and an integral part of the fight itself.
The return of Watto. Honestly, I find his scene in this film one of the best performances by a CGI character in any live-action film I know of. He's a terrible person in the way a lot of ordinary people are terrible, and yet his genuine affection for Ani and the squalor into which he has fallen bring out an unavoidable sympathy in me.
Cliegg Lars. This dude is Tatooine wrapped up in a nutshell.
The shadow-puppet imagery as Anakin prepares to go after his mother, where we see the shape of Darth Vader's helmet cast by Anakin's hair.
Anakin's "Duel of the Fates" ride through the sunset Tatooine desert. Not the greatest green-screened sequence, I'll totally admit. But it's visually stunning nonetheless, and the re-use of "Duel of the Fates" at this critical juncture in Anakin's life is a fantastic piece of musical storytelling.
Freakin' seismic charges in space. I swear, the delayed explosion sound is probably the single dumbest piece of physics in any movie ever, but it's so awesome in combination with the visuals that I love it twice as much.
The reversed Pieta image in Shmi Skywalker's death scene. It's flipped left-to-right from Michaelangelo's statue and flips mother and son as well, and it foreshadows Anakin's fall to darkness instead of a resurrection, and it's just not the kind of fine-arts allusion you expect to find in a Star Wars film.
Every word Christopher Lee says.
The garage scene where Anakin reveals his slaughter of the sandpeople. Hayden Christensen is fantastic here. You could also argue that there's a subtle critique of Padme's background as part of a colonizer culture in her willingness to tolerate her boyfriend's murder of indigenous people, right down to the children.
That incredible arena sequence and its transition to the Battle of Geonosis. These are both vast, ingeniously conceived and executed action scenes, full of eye-popping architecture, creatures, and tech designs. I could probably write a whole blog post about all the things I love from each one of them.
Obi-Wan bringing Anakin to his senses by asking what Padme would do if she were in his place. It's another bravura scene for Hayden, and here Ewan MacGregor is at a similar emotional peak.
Badass Yoda. People have weirdly mixed reactions to this, but I didn't hear anything mixed in the theater I was in on opening night. The crowd went wild. I loved it then, and I will always love it.
Dumbass Yoda. I mean, what the hell, Yoda? Don't you remember the part where, oh, an hour and a half ago, you were telling Obi and Mace what a shame it was that even the older, more experienced Jedi were getting too sure of themselves? And now you're going to just keep toying with your old Padawan Dooku and taunting him while Obi-Wan and Anakin are lying injured on the floor? This is the ultimate payoff for the earlier scene, and the cruelest commentary on the fallibility of the Jedi.
Dooku's solar sail spaceship. Another makes-no-sense torturing of the laws of physics, but it's beautiful anyway.
"Begun, the Clone War has." The first full-throated appearance of the Imperial March ringing out through the literal sunset of the Republic, with the vast machinery of conquest on full display while poor Bail Antilles is able to do nothing more than ineffectually clench his fist against a balustrade -- this is one of the most vivid and meaningful scenes of the whole saga for me.
The musical modulation from the Love Theme to the closing-credits theme. I find this a very close second place to the credit transition in The Empire Strikes Back. The juxtaposition of melancholy romance and rousing symphonic triumph nails the ending of the film for me.
So, no, not even close to a let-down, even after 17 years worth of viewings.
